Self Worth in Content Creation
May. 27th, 2019 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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creativitycauldronGood day, treasured friends! Chris Kobold: Bard Extraordinaire here!
It's been way too long since I posted to the Cauldron, and for that I apologize. Things in my life have been going crazy-fast as of late, and I've gotten out of touch with the things I find cathartic. I might be getting a new apartment soon, though, so yay! :D
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Funny, isn't it, how life can sometimes skip along like no time has gone by at all? I've always thought that was kind of scary, like I'm not seizing every opportunity to do something memorable or to create something that I'm proud of. In a way, I'm actually terrified of that, though I know I shouldn't be if I want to live comfortably with myself. After all, not everyone can produce amazing art constantly.
It's hard to overcome perfectionism and even harder to love yourself despite not being the consistent energetic force you want to be. I often lack the energy to make the things I want to make after I spend it all just living life responsibly. I haven't uploaded to YouTube nearly as often as I wanted to when I set out to post videos in the first place, and it really ate at me when I would think about that. It still does sometimes.
"Am I not as good as other musicians who have more drive than I do?"
"How do they do it?"
"Should I just give up?"
"I'm obviously not cut out for this."
"Just go back to college so you can have a real job, idiot."
"I'm a failure, and I always will be."
... Our brains can be cruel to us in really tragic ways. I'm okay—promise. I just feel it's important to share that I think things like this too, in case you find that you do.
Much like "real" work, we need breaks from our passions too. There's no shame in that. It's important to come back to your passions after you feel better, but be gentle to yourself. Be kind. Think of a public statement that one of your favorite artists might make, telling that they'll have to be away for a while but will be back. You'd most likely want them to know that you'll still be there to support them when they step back up to plate, right?
Why wouldn't you afford yourself the same kindness?
As artists, we might attach too much value to consistency. I think that in days of yore, the comings and goings of the "muse" were much more respected than they are today. However, I also think that I'm the biggest critic of my muse's timing. I really beat myself up for not being "on time," whatever that is.
I have a motto that helps me in times like this: "Life's a journey, not a race."
Your journey can be made more beautiful when you take time to stop and camp for the night. Tell your stories, sing your songs, and extend your love to those around you. H*ck, come the next day you can even do some hiking off the beaten path. Every trail is worth it, because it's the trail you took.
That's all for now, brothers and sisters of the Cauldron! I can only hope this resonates with at least one or two folks out there. You are wonderful, and I am grateful for you.
-Chris Kobold: Wonder Bard
TL;DR: Let your muse come and go, and work towards being comfortable with existing even when you aren't producing the content that you want to make.
It's been way too long since I posted to the Cauldron, and for that I apologize. Things in my life have been going crazy-fast as of late, and I've gotten out of touch with the things I find cathartic. I might be getting a new apartment soon, though, so yay! :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny, isn't it, how life can sometimes skip along like no time has gone by at all? I've always thought that was kind of scary, like I'm not seizing every opportunity to do something memorable or to create something that I'm proud of. In a way, I'm actually terrified of that, though I know I shouldn't be if I want to live comfortably with myself. After all, not everyone can produce amazing art constantly.
It's hard to overcome perfectionism and even harder to love yourself despite not being the consistent energetic force you want to be. I often lack the energy to make the things I want to make after I spend it all just living life responsibly. I haven't uploaded to YouTube nearly as often as I wanted to when I set out to post videos in the first place, and it really ate at me when I would think about that. It still does sometimes.
"Am I not as good as other musicians who have more drive than I do?"
"How do they do it?"
"Should I just give up?"
"I'm obviously not cut out for this."
"Just go back to college so you can have a real job, idiot."
"I'm a failure, and I always will be."
... Our brains can be cruel to us in really tragic ways. I'm okay—promise. I just feel it's important to share that I think things like this too, in case you find that you do.
Much like "real" work, we need breaks from our passions too. There's no shame in that. It's important to come back to your passions after you feel better, but be gentle to yourself. Be kind. Think of a public statement that one of your favorite artists might make, telling that they'll have to be away for a while but will be back. You'd most likely want them to know that you'll still be there to support them when they step back up to plate, right?
Why wouldn't you afford yourself the same kindness?
As artists, we might attach too much value to consistency. I think that in days of yore, the comings and goings of the "muse" were much more respected than they are today. However, I also think that I'm the biggest critic of my muse's timing. I really beat myself up for not being "on time," whatever that is.
I have a motto that helps me in times like this: "Life's a journey, not a race."
Your journey can be made more beautiful when you take time to stop and camp for the night. Tell your stories, sing your songs, and extend your love to those around you. H*ck, come the next day you can even do some hiking off the beaten path. Every trail is worth it, because it's the trail you took.
That's all for now, brothers and sisters of the Cauldron! I can only hope this resonates with at least one or two folks out there. You are wonderful, and I am grateful for you.
-Chris Kobold: Wonder Bard
TL;DR: Let your muse come and go, and work towards being comfortable with existing even when you aren't producing the content that you want to make.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-28 07:28 pm (UTC)I feel like when life throws us curve balls - which hey, it does all the time its life - its hard for me to work. Then I feel bad and beat myself up for not using every spare moment working.
I've had lots of stupid petty family drama, and big scary life threatening family drama this weekend and to be honest, all I want to do is curl up in a little ball and have someone wake me when its over.
musings on muses
Date: 2019-05-28 08:56 pm (UTC)Just thinking about how I do this to myself on a daily basis is exhausting. I'm not sure how you got into my headspace, but if you're gong to keep hanging out there, I might start charging you rent, ;P